Well there really is no way to go about this. I’ve been away for…oh…six months? It’s been a while. What better way is there to jump back in than to jump with two feet? Do I need to explain my absence?
No, I don’t have to. But I’ll attempt to.
The past six months have been filled with incredible sorrow and incredible joy simultaneously. How does one handle that emotion? I surely don’t know. I obviously check out. Amidst fixing faucets and learning calligraphy (which I’m still working on), there was a whole other part of life happening all around me. Life that deserved much more attention and emotion than fixing things around the house or checking in on here. It all seemed frivolous.
I’ve thought about writing this post for months but didn’t know where to start. Matthew and I have been incredibly blessed. We have our struggles, sure, but we also have immense blessings. After years of talking about when the time would be right to expand our family, last year we decided to do something about that. It was an exciting time for the first couple of months. And then it wasn’t. It became a time filled with doctor visits and medicines and calculating. In the midst of it all and through talking with my close friends and family, it became apparent that we weren’t the only ones struggling to expand our family. But for anyone who has struggled with fertility, it feels like you’re alone, doesn’t it?
And to be honest, our fertility issues were minor compared to what my closest friends and family have been through. Very minor. Nothing a little medical intervention couldn’t take care of, thankfully.
Some of my closest friends and family have not fared as well. It’s been a real struggle with a lot of pain and heartache. Over the past year, there have been a lot of prayers and petitions to God. And questions. A lot of questions. Through it all, I am reminded that we serve an Almighty and Faithful God. He’s made the lame to walk, the blind to see, and opened wombs. Surely He can do all things.
If you haven’t picked up on it yet, yes, I’m pregnant.
I did not announce it on social media and even hesitated in writing this post because so many people I know are struggling to start families of their own. We are at an age where our newsfeeds are flooded with baby announcements. There were weeks where I saw one every day. I’m not kidding. Every. Single. Day. For someone struggling to get pregnant, the social media world is a tough one to navigate. For your pregnant friends, you are both joyful for them, yet heartbroken for yourself. Then you feel guilty for feeling heartbroken or a slight bit of jealousy. It’s a lot of emotions to work through in an already stressful and emotionally-charged time.
So I refrained from posting to social media. Some people who do not know me so well will read that as me not being excited. That’s ok. They don’t know me. (Actually it annoys me, but I’m trying to work through that.)
I guess I figured it was time to clue everyone in though.
We’re having a girl in November. And we are excited. Even if we don’t post anything to Facebook.